i'm riding on an electric train. hands are clapping. why? i don't know. but i can hear them. what are they applauding? has someone on this train achieved and mastered such a feat as to warrant applaud? i'm left wondering what they accomplished. it's too bad these trains don't have horns or whistles. i'd honk one. maybe i have a kazoo in my pocket. i'll get it out. maybe they're having a celebration of some sort. maybe someone's getting married or maybe it's a tour group? i don't know who they are but they look like they're having fun. so i ask someone sitting next to me what they were celebrating. they say, ''who knows, if someone claps i just clap too. it makes life more enjoyable.'' i agree. suddenly the lights flash in and out.
a bolt of lightning strikes the train car, right down the middle. the clapping stops. everyone pauses and looks around at each other. the lights go out. there's chatter and someone screams suddenly. i blow my nose. i also put my kazoo away. doesn't seem like the right time to use it. ''i'm scared,'' exclaims a young boy to his father. i hand them the kazoo. they say thank you. so now we have the sound of the train, and the small chattering of occasional voices, and a deafening silence, and a kazoo, and we're in the dark. the train seems to pick up speed. and there's rain now pouring down. i can see it pouring down the sides of the windows. we hear a deafening screech. the train pulls to a stop. a moment passes and the lights come back on. everyone cheers and is happy again. then the lights go off again. l o l. we just can't win. then they come back on again. everyone cheers. and they go off again. then i hear the ''oh nos'' and the ''when will they come back on again'' chattering. the train starts again, with a loud deafening screech again, this time shorter. at this point we're all hoping we make it to the next depot. l o l. ''raindrops are falling on my head'' plays from the wonderful kazoo. someone opens a window. of course these windows don't open all the way, just enough to hear, see, and feel whats outside if you happen to be sitting behind it when it's spouting out raindrops from the rain storm outside. ''close that window,'' someone sais. they close the window. the lights pop on. everybody cheers. and we have a happy train ride the rest of the way.